My horoscope was given to me by a friend, and being a Leo I felt it necessary to offer a rant & ramble from my mind.
“There is a kind of freedom in getting lost, Leo. Suppose you were traveling to a destination and you made a wrong turn in a thick woods. Before long, you lost track of which road led you there, and you had no clue what direction to follow. The thing is; there is a freedom in not knowing where to go. You now have the chance to start from scratch in a confusing situation. You may choose any path you want, and then make the most of it.” LEO 2.25.12
I feel as if I have been living a life contained within these words. I have and will continue to create a positive relationship with the uncertainties of my tomorrows. I tend to find a motivation behind the ideal that “the slate is clean” and in doing so, I hold a colorful array of chalks to draw my next steps into the future.
We have all stood upon the threshold of life’s “crossroads”; staring aimlessly all around ourselves, hoping for that golden answer to blow in the wind. As our two feet grip at the edge of what is to come next we brace ourselves to shake hands with “Anticipation”; knowing that inevitably an adventure is going to ensue. Within this much defined moment that we grasp we are also confronted with the graces of “Uncertainty”. She dances around dressed in a great gown of anxiety, as if to befuddle and amuse us. Neither one seems to come without the other, and both leaves us immediately reacting to an event that we do not yet truly understand; Tomorrow will come, in tomorrow’s hands. Do not be wronged by the thought that “yes” this is a fight or flight moment in our lives. It is one to judge our grit upon, and understand our frights. We all must face what we don’t understand, and to do so allows us an internal comprehension of whom we truly can become. There does come a time when our fears vanish into the distance of yesterdays and within such moments we are then left standing to the entrance of our freed future.
I have found that freedom comes within the understanding that we can create the magnificence of our very next step. Believing in ourselves is the hardest struggle, but once we do- may we all see our futures in a whole new light.
How do you envision freedom?
I have become an individual that has put much faith into the will of the world. I have not been one to stand at life’s invigorating vast edges, just to dangle my toes in the moment. I seem to fall into a motion, one that is as enchanting as the flight of a heron. Awkward broad flaps that seem to be a demise to my own ambition of flight, not necessarily the beginning to a beautiful dance. It is this leap of faith into the unknown that is all I hear, all that I am drawn to, and it is this faith that keeps my dreams alive.
Today; life’s morning breath wrestled with a metallic wind chime, awakening me from my dreams that have left their playful depiction across my minds many miles. Within the darkened nightscape, my mind raced around cultivating it’s own imagination, and painting pictures of elusive worlds that hide in the recesses of far away corners. Within these fair dreams creation was invented, and potential was draped with drops of oil color reality. I am humored of what comes to fruition and resembles desires that grace the movements of my lips as I speak. Aspirations send reverberations across the moistened pale skin that does border my mouth; leaving me enamored by the delicate sanity that one might confuse as feasible.
The first steps of opportunity are always the most embellished for me. From the far end of my visual scope I stand; waiting and ready- intimidated by the first step that I must take. The distance that spans from me to my dreams; my envisioned reality, is filled with treacherous passes that seem to carry on as far as my own existence. Yet, a desire to manifest such dreams into my reality lingers within each putter of my beating heart. It is this banter between the pains of uncertainty and the craving for the outcome that fills me with a lust for life. It is without hesitation that I take my first step and find myself immersed in a life that I live, that I breathe, and that I dream of.
Owning such a blog allows to me to explore many different levels of thoughts, feelings, and tales in order to share with you all. This next piece is not a normal “happy go lucky Jamie” post, but I hope it leaves you with a more mindful outlook into the distractions and opportunities that we do encounter. We would never truly understand the beauty from the mountain peak, without the appreciation and accomplishment of the long arduous hike that it took to arrive.
I have recently been given a great deal of emotional grief; as if it were to come to me wrapped like a present from another. Unfortunately the red bow that is draped across it is not to signify the holidays, but rather the pain that fills me. The black paper that someone so elegantly wrapped it in, is actually the anger that controls me. And as I open to see what is inside; the emptiness is as absorbing as my self doubt. It is an overwhelming feeling that hinders me, but I am aware that in time the events of today will show me a new opportunity filled with positivity for tomorrow.
These are the feelings that have laid behind this pain, and what I have learned thus far…
The weight of a great tusked elephant sits upon my chest, constricting the ease of each breath and heart beat. The enjoyment of simple thoughts have been replaced with a montage of confusion and bitterness, and I stare aimlessly at a textured white wall adorned with an old fashioned hanging clock. Chains drape from old toothed gears that meticulously keep their pace, and I absorb a slow rhythmic “Tick” as the gear lunges forward, and “Tock” as it settles into it’s nearest rung. Ticking away; the wall clock drones on, beating monotonously into my deadened mind. I am harassed by the way it can so casually continue forward second by second, hour by hour, day by day and never skip a beat. I wonder how something can so effectively move forward in time; so true and never waver. I finish this great mental painting with darkened sullen clouds hovering above my thwarted reality. I cower in the corner of my depressed mind, hiding from any positive ambition of tomorrow becoming a new day.
Pain comes with many different masks, and never truly makes it’s presence known until the above feelings have control over each breath and every second of our existence. It lingers within us; blinding us from the beauty within the continuing “moments” that lay in front of us. Pain is not something that we should hide from, or fear to understand. We should learn to embrace the tragic moments in which pain has been brought to us. We should learn to treasure the story in which it wants to show us, even when the end is hidden from our comprehension. I speak these words knowing that while within such a darkened embrace of life it is often extremely difficult to see such a positive. As individuals; we are graced with the power of choice, and the ability to see opportunities hiding within all that is around us. We are capable of seeing beyond the immediate pain, and understand who we want to become past this fallible moment. In doing so we become more mindful of our role within the immediate moment and those leading on. It is a choice that when one is ready they can chose to make, and begin to climb from the pitfall of such a burdening personal moment.
Today is not easy, tomorrow may not greet us in favor, but as we take the time to understand and become aware….. Opportunities become endless.